The night Max wore his wolf suit...

And made mischief of one kind...and another...
Doesn't he just look like he's dreaming of trouble? Okay maybe not but I'm pretty sure that is in our near future! Like always, sorry my pictures are not always the best quality, I use my blackberry's camera.

Update!! Update!! Nothing has changed!! :)
Well, that's mostly true. Max is, and will be, just working on the eating. The nurses and us have decided cautiously that Max really doesn't seem to have terrible reflux as we were warned to expect. What seems to be happening is, he doesn't swallow/process his "spit" and mucous. It collects in the back of his throat, where you and I would normally clear our throats. So he starts sucking some milk in, and gags on all that. Then we get a golf ball sized present along with whatever milk he had gotten in, which is usually not much. After that, we tend to have a fairly successful feeding. We are working on things like continuing to burp him before and during his meal, and we've added little "binky breaks" inbetween as well. This seems to clear his throat a little before he eats and during. Whatever helps, huh? So, the eating process takes about 20 minutes for 1oz, but if he keeps it down we won! (He doesn't always keep it down though!)

I would say Max is about 50/50 so far. That is still considered good progress, because a lot of CDH kids even need occupational therapy just to learn to overcome an oral aversion. So, we take a deep breath, and work patiently with little Max as he learns. I try to remember that he is a tiny new human being, and everyone is asking a lot of him...and he is doing his best! I'm sure NObody would enjoy barfing halfway through every meal. Lovely visual, I know.

The docs ordered an upper GI today, where they make him drink Barium so they can see where things go on a screen when he swallows. We'll get those results tomorrow, and see if it gave them any useful information. Otherwise, he is growing and adorable! He's at 7lbs, 60z now. That's still small, but since I watch him change it seems big to me. Here's a couple cute pics!

Max looks grumpy here(yesterday), but that's just his normal look when he's watching us make stupid faces at him...he's thinking "you guys are so weird...none of the other parents here do that!"
And here he is being fed by super dad of the year, Jordan! I like this pic because you can see how little he still is in comparison to Dad's hand.
And here's Max's favorite pastime, inbetween eating and making mischief:
Jordan says it's his favorite feeling just having Max lay on his chest like this and rock in the chair. I have to agree! Oh! This last one is today right before transport picked him up for his GI test. They can get chilly so I put his hat on and his puppy slippers...hehe!! (He normally has toys in there too but they hafta be out for transport.)
The shoes have a big soft puppy face with big floppy ears on the sides. I guess that's more for Mom that for Max.

Thank you ladies for all of your support and advice about the breastfeeding. I get emails and Facebook messages in addition to the blog comments, and reading everyone's experiences really did make me feel better. It's nice to know other women struggle in this way and got through it. So, when/if I don't respond, please know that I'm reading and appreciating. It's just so much to respond to over and over. I love your advice and encouragement on all these different topics though, so don't give up on me! :)

I decided Sunday night to stop pumping. I had a big meltdown, a really great cry (hehe), and I'm fairly okay with things now. Not totally, but I'll get there maybe. I have done EVERY. THING. A couple different LC's, a doctor appt at the Lactation clinic to consult about possible issues, every health precaution possible, EVERY nasty herb and tea possible (oh yes friends I've been smelling of Fenugreek and maple syrup for weeks now), and pumped faithfully every 2.5-3hrs for five weeks now. Short of taking medication, which the doctor advised me against for a few different reasons. I make MAX( no pun intended) 10ml, which is half what he eats at one sitting. So, he out-eats me already. Also, latching on hasn't worked because the nurses don't want to upset him and make the bottle feed unsuccessful afterward. I don't want that either, so the breastfeeding itself really isn't functional like I'd hoped.

Altogether it's working against me, and God just has other plans for Max's nutrition. So, I have done awesome research and asked advice of trusted friends about formula, and when we get home I feel okay with what we'll do. The hospital said I can't provide my choice now because of sanitation laws, and I'm cool with that for now.

(As a side note...this may sound weird. I love and appreciate all of you, but since I've come to this decision, I would respectfully request no advice or encouragement to continue. I really struggled badly with keeping out of a bit of a depression about it, and I'm feeling okay with my choice. I feel like continued advice in that direction would make me feel crummy. Thanks so much for understanding!!)

Jordan and I are going nutso, but we have some great friends here that get us out of the house, and we still have a blast together. Thank Goodness! I think our marriage is really set up for success if we come out of this happy and healthy. I'm exercising now, which feels just amazing. Life lately is such a "sit on you butt" activity...hanging out with your baby in the hospital.
If you consider rocking in a chair an Olympic sport, call me Micheal Phelps!!

Please pray for Max's tummy to learn how to eat/process his food (and fast, hehe!), and for all his staff watching over him, to help us and the docs make good decisions for Max based on their observations. Also for Jordan and I to just handle all of it, and for me to have PEACE about the BF stuff. :) Thank you everyone. I don't grow tired of being grateful to all of you, even if I've never met or talked to you.

Love,
Claire